[Dealing with Polar Opposites]【和而不同】

20160510 polar-opposite

[Dealing with Polar Opposites]

By: Dazi CREMONITA (Jockey Club Academy Hall)
Image: Andy Warhol Polaroid Portraits

Rather than punching them in the face, maybe we should be the ones to look inside ourselves.

People are different. Bottom line. You can never expect anyone to like, dislike, agree or disagree with the things you do. Why should they? In your mind, “I like this piece of music and EVERYONE SHOULD TOO AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT! I can’t understand anyone who doesn’t like this! This is a piece of genius!” Here’s the thing, some people just like different things. Maybe they’re basis for liking something is different than yours. It’s the same as you not liking the same things.

What’s dangerous about human beings is that we think we’re always right. Even when you think other people are wrong, you think you’re correct. The way to loosen up is by knowing that there is no right or wrong. The reason we have formulas, traditions, or concepts is to make sense of things in this unpredictable nature. A lot of the times people seem to be very vocal about their opinions, and most of the times those opinions come from their own insecurities. It’s like dealing with picky eaters. They eat what they know for sure is good. They would never try unfamiliar food because they’re afraid of bad taste, denying any possibility of a good eating experience. If that is their reasoning for argument, it’s always good to step back. Nothing comes good from talking back to hurt, or to proof you’re right. Another way to handle it is by asking questions. Even when reluctant, ask them questions on why they feel such a way, or why they believe in certain things. Know that there is always a reasoning behind their beliefs, which may not make any sense to you, but makes perfect sense to them.

Seriously, stop judging everyone’s differences and start appreciating them instead.

 

【和而不同】

文: Dazi CREMONITA (賽馬會群智堂)
圖: 安迪沃荷寶利來作品

當你想戳破他們的臉的時候,別這樣做吧,其實我們該好好審視並反思自己。

每個人都獨一無二,你不能期望任何人都與你的喜好一致,喜歡你喜歡的,討厭你討厭的,他們憑什麼要完全和你一樣?也許在你眼裡:「我喜歡這首音樂,全世界的人都應該喜歡,因為它太完美了,一點瑕疵都沒有!真不理解為什麼有人不喜歡它,這簡直是天籟之音啊!」但是現實是,一些人就是喜歡其他類型的啊,他們不喜歡你所喜歡的,就像你也不喜歡他們喜歡的一樣。

人類總是自以為是,認為自己總是對的,這非常危險。即使意識到別人錯了的時候,也依舊堅持自己永遠是對的。解決這種困境的一種方法就是明白世界上沒有絕對的對錯,我們的世界里有規則,傳統,概念是為了使不可預測的大自然變得有意義。很多時候人們暢所欲言,擲地有聲,但大多數時候他們的觀點來源於不安全感。就像挑食的人,他們只吃自己確認過好吃的食物,絕不會輕易嘗試不熟悉的,因為怕味道不好,他們堅決否認那可能是一次愉快的嘗鮮經歷。因為一旦真的不好吃,再證明自己是對的也無濟於事,受到傷害的事實不會改變。另外一種方法就是問問題,即使不情願,也要問問別人為什麼那樣想或為什麼相信一件事。要知道人們相信什麼總是有理由的,也許對你來說沒有意義,但對他們可能意義重大。

所以,不要再批判每個人的不同,而是開始欣賞吧。

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