Defining Commitment / 何謂承諾

(按此看中文版)

“Eh, I don’t like him anymore.” “What, why?”, said a friend acting surprised to my predictable change of mind. My crushes usually last for 5 days, which was exactly why I have yet to comprehend how my parents handled each other for 22 years and still going strong, let alone understand how university couples can last for more than 2 years.

Jockey Club Academy Hall alumni Jenna SON (Graduate of 2016, Human Resources Management) and Terence LEE (Graduate of 2016, Media and Communication) met each other in the SR and have been together for almost 4 years – we can all take down a note or two about how they value their relationship.

What’s the timeline of your love-story like?

“Our first conversation ever was on Facebook,” said the couple. Yes, credits given to the Facebook group called Hello International 2013-14 set up for international freshmen students of Terence and Jenna’s batch (the couple came from Singapore and South Korea respectively) – they were able to meet even before seeing each other in person.

After a month of knowing each other, they went to Victoria Harbor and confessed their desires to take things seriously. A MONTH?! Chemistry was just too strong I guess! – “No, it’s just we met every single day along with a group of friends,” which built a quick foundation for their relationship.

“I still see her everyday.” added Terence.

Do you know each other’s career goals? How do you balance your career goals with your love life?

Terence exclaimed about Jenna’s high expectation – “Bottom line is she wants to be at the top doing what she wants”. Both of them are passionate about starting something on their own. Ambitious and forward-looking, yet willing to lay down their interests for the sake of the achievement of their partner.

“We wouldn’t mind compromising our own goals. I’m willing to sacrifice my time and place just to see her achieve what she wants and I think she would do the same for me,” said Terence firmly yet full of affection.

What is your secret in keeping a strong relationship?

“I believe in staying committed. It’s easy to say I give up or I don’t want do this anymore.” Even though no one has ever seen them ever fight or even act lukewarm around each other, they honestly confessed that they go through arguments like normal couples do.

“Saying sorry is important.” Terence said that you need to learn how to say this simple word as it shows that you are willing to put your pride down for your girl. “Yeah, even if it’s not your fault,” humorously contributed by Jenna, “Try to understand each other, if you can’t you won’t even last a year.” She says that girls should lower their demands – girls aren’t supposed to be treated better than guys.

I’m not in a relationship, any advice that I can take from you?

“DON’T BELIEVE IN FIRST IMPRESSION!” Reflected by Jenna. most guys often hide their personality, and initially, she thought Terence was really weird but everything changed as she got to know him.

It’s important to “go out there and join university events” to meet more people with an open mindset. They didn’t mean lurking for partners in a creepy way, but just being proactive in meeting new friends, initially looking for friends and then seeing from there.

Writer:   Julianne DIONISIO (Jockey Club Humanity Hall)
Images:   Jenna SON & Terrance LEE (Alumni of Jockey Club Academy Hall)

~~~

「唉,我覺得我好像對他沒感覺了。」

「什麼?為什麼?」一個早就料到我多變心性的朋友故作驚訝地問我。

對我來說,心動的感覺往往只能持續五天,這也是我為什麼至今不能理解我父母是如何執手度過二十二年始終如一,更別說理解那些堅持兩年以上的大學情侶了。

同樣來自賽馬會群智堂的舊生孫珠瑛 Jenna(人力資源管理系2016年畢業生)和李若隆Terence(媒體與傳播系2016年畢業生)相識於學生宿舍,已經攜手走過四年時光。說起他們有多珍惜這段感情,幾張紙都不一定能寫完呢。

你們的愛情故事是怎麼展開的?

「我們的第一次交流是在臉書上。」多虧了當時那個為了若隆和珠瑛這一批國際新生建立的「你好!國際生2013-2014」臉書群組(二人分別來自新加坡和南韓),他們得以在相遇之前已告認識。

相識一個月後,他們一起去了維港,互相袒露心意。就一個月?!他們也太來電了吧?!「其實是因為我們幾乎每天都和一幫朋友一起,天天見面。」這讓他們之間的感情加速升溫。「我現在也會每天見她喔。」若隆補充道。

你們了解對方的職業規劃嗎?你們如何平衡自己的職業規劃和感情生活呢?

李若隆無比驕傲地說出珠瑛的高標準:「只要是她想做的,她都想做到最好。」他們兩人都期待開展自己的事業。縱然兩人都志向遠大,他們也願意為了對方的成就而放下自己的興趣。「我們都不介意為對方妥協自己的目標。我願意犧牲自己的時間和空間,僅僅為了看到她能實現自己想要的。我相信她也願意為了我做同樣的付出。」若隆堅定又深情地說道。

你們一直保持堅固感情的秘訣是什麼?

「我相信堅持自己的承諾很重要,因為說自己想放棄或者我不想再繼續了太容易了。」即使從來沒有人看到他們發生爭執或者冷戰,二人承認其實他們也像其他任何一對普通情侶一樣有過爭執。

「懂得讓步說抱歉也很重要。」若隆說你需要學會怎麼說出這個簡單的詞,因為它能讓你的另一半明白你願意為了她放低自己的驕傲。

「沒錯,即使有時候甚至不是你的問題。」珠瑛調皮地附和。「努力去理解你的另一半,不然你們可能連一年都堅持不了。」她說女孩兒也應該適當降低自己的要求-女生不應該成為唯一被呵護的那一方。

我現在還是單身,你們有什麼建議可以給我嗎?

「千萬不要相信第一印象!」珠瑛這樣叮囑。大部分男生剛認識時都不會展露自己的真性情,最開始,她也認為若隆古裡古怪,不過在她深入了解他之後一切都變得不一樣了:「走出自己的圈子,去參加更多的大學裡的活動十分重要,去結交那些心態開放的人。」這並不意味著飢渴地尋求一個伴侶,而僅僅只是讓自己更主動地認識新朋友,把這個當成一個脫單的好開始吧。

文:   Julianne DIONISIO (賽馬會敬賢堂)
譯:   陳妍宇 (舍堂十)
圖:   孫珠瑛及李若隆 (賽馬會群智堂舊生)

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